When I consider my past 56 years, most of the pivotal,
defining moments in my life have been framed by struggle. I wonder if this is just how Life is? Is it the same for all? Sure, there are some really great moments and
events that happened in my life, but almost all were made great because of the
struggle it took to achieve. Is this the
same for everyone? Is this simply how we
as humans are designed to interact with the Universe? I don’t know. I probably won’t ever know.
Most seem to understand heartbreak, disappointment,
fear, anxiety and the reward of hard work.
Songs are written about it. Books and movies are filled with it - - so I
am guessing this struggle that has framed the bulk of my life is inherent in
all humanity.
What got me considering all of this is the last payment I
just made on a terrible debt I didn’t directly incur myself. For the past four years I have been paying on
this debt. For four years I have done
without in effort to get out from under this bloated monkey on my back. Yesterday I added all my payments made on
this debt: $51,842 total was paid out of
my pocket over the past four years.
For some perspective, my first house cost $60,000 and I was given 30 years to pay that off.
How in the hell did I ever manage to come up with nearly
$52K “extra” these past four years?! It
sounds impossible to me even today now that the deed is done. Yet,
when I really think about it, I know the answer. I know how I managed to pull this off. It was through Providence, as referenced in
this well-known verse:
“Until
one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back. Concerning all
acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth, the ignorance
of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one
definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things
occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of
events issues from the decision, raising in one's favor all manner of
unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could
have dreamed would have come his way. Whatever you can do, or dream you can do,
begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. Begin it now.” *
Call it God. The
Universe. Kundalini energy. Whatever
you call it - - I believe we all have access to it - - and when we tap into it, amazing
things can happen. I first stumbled
across these words when embarking on completing my undergraduate degree while
working full time and not having any extra money or time for school. But, inspired by these words, I took a bold
step and enrolled in my first class, and when I did, Providence moved with
me. None of what came my way would have
ever happened if I didn’t take that first bold step of faith and register. And, every semester for six years I had to repeat
this same bold step, over and over, until my goal was realized.
I have had to remind myself to take this same bold step of
faith with nearly every difficult decision or goal set before me. I begin the task having no clear path or plan
or resources - - yet taking that first step unleashes a powerful force of synchronicity,
strength, perseverance and just plain dumb luck. And I wonder, is it the same for all? Do others experience Life the same? Is Life one big struggle that we are expected
to embrace and then allow the forces that surround us help resolve?
I don’t know.
And I probably will never know.... and yet, I
wonder?
* For many years these words were attributed to the German
philosopher, Goethe. But more recent
research indicates it is a
conglomeration of writing by various authors including Goethe, Faust and Shakespeare.
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